Why do good things come to an end ?

Just for You.

2011-05-18T23:25:00.002+08:00

This is specially blogged for someone whom is important in my life.

I would like to sincerely apologize that i didn't made 'your plan' go smoothly.

I would like to thank you, thank you so much for everything and the surprise gift of course.

I'm sorry that i crashed everything down. I didn't expect you'll did that. I'm thankful and i appreciate so much. Thank you.

I'm Nothing.

2011-05-01T13:10:00.001+08:00

Maybe I know where i stand now in your life.

2011-04-14T21:39:00.000+08:00

USPY TURSY .

YES .

THATS ME !

Tmrw is April.

2011-03-31T20:38:00.003+08:00

I guess, today was the worse day of my life where I teared up for one whole freaking hour and i stopped awhile but continue again and still never ending now. How am i supposed to handle a broken heart ? What if time doesn't heal me ?

Specially for PA:

I'm sorry if i reacted or replied you just like a stranger. I guess, im too shocked over what happened today. Maybe your decision is the best way for me but never ever come to my mind that it will happen this soon. I was just dreaming to wish you or maybe 'celebrate' with you any days during april since its 'our 1 year'. But like i said, its just a dream. I guess, this has brought me really down to earth. Just so you know, we've acted 6 months last year before we got really close and now ... i've need to wait for another 6-7 months before we get close again. Wtv it is. ISLY.

For dear friends:

I apologize if im being really different this days. Thank you for all the concerns. Thank you for cheering me up. If any point where i didnt speak up, just means, i don't feel like talking or i've got nothing to say. I'm leading my own life now. Thank you for all the love.

PS: I'll keep denying whatever i can as long as you don't know my true colours.

24 hours ?

2011-03-30T23:25:00.001+08:00

Chaggiya, mianhae.

I'm so sorry if any of my words have brought you really down. Its just meant to bring you up after a while. I'm so sorry but saranghae. :D

1 more day to April.

2011-03-30T15:52:00.003+08:00

Do you even care about my feelings at first ?

If you dont. We dont even need to discuss or settle anything.

If yes, then i'm gonna tell you this. Ask yourself what had happened.

A friend of mine, told me about her past with you. You're not, NOT even in a relationship with her yet ... stayed together alone at her house ? Spending time together. This is the second time i heard from her about this. Trust me, it turned me all upsy tursy. The more i tried trusting you, the more i heard all this kind of negative stuffs. YES, IT IS YOUR PAST. What will happen if its brought to the future ? The reason why im asking you all the questions and not answering your question is to rise your awareness about us. Do you even care ? Its been repeated. And i realised my mistakes long time ago, here, i'm trying so hard to recover it, yet ? I tried to stay because I felt i've not done enuf for us but at the end, the same all shit happen.

IT HURTS every time you asked me " Then, whats next ?" , what ? If im that heartless, i can simply say, GOODBYE. Here im not being that way, i wanna settle it nicely yet you're being sarcastic with me ? I dont mind playing with games okay. I wish you could understand. Really. Maybe, the reasons behind my presence in your life is just to make you realize something. I'M TIRED of all this, trust me. I used to say, once i gave up, at any point, i can just say thank you for everything.

I just want to settle all this properly and nicely and next, i want everything to go smoothly but if there's aint anymore chances, fate will decide by then.

I'm not finding fault. I wanna make it right. Please dont be so egoistic. I've endured with all this. You're hot and you're cold. At times you're good and at times you're not. What ? Which one are you ? What do you exactly want ?

I'm tired with all the heartpain. All the heartpain throwned. Please. All this IS affecting me and my studies. I'm not throwing all this to you but just one thing i want you to know.

REALIZE. Think about it yourself.

Ache.

2011-03-29T15:39:00.002+08:00

I'm under confusion. I'm under tension. I'm under stress.

I wanna go on a holiday before I have my O level prelim.

Please. Please. Please.

Dear God, please give me an answer to my doubts. Thankyou.

You.

2011-03-21T21:49:00.003+08:00

Dedicated Specially For PA.

I've been in your position. Instead i must say its worse. I just wanna make things right here. Everything seems upsy tursy now. With a very heavy heart, i'll say that i don't want things to go wrong again and again and mistakes to be repeated. Its truly heart aching.

All i wanted was just a pleasant and happy ending kind of 'ship'. Its getting hard to capture your attention now. Its also getting harder for me to confess everything thats on my mind. I'm trying to make a change here. Without you playing your part, its hard. We're repeating what we had gone through. Its like a drama played again and again.

If you have doubts or a confession that you must say out but its not out yet, please do tell me soon. I hope time off will do for you. You're having your holidays now, i hope you'll take your holidays to recover over what has been bothering you.

So much love,

DA.

You see right through me baby.

2011-02-20T20:25:00.003+08:00

I was reading thru my past post. Ohgeemy. Haha. But just one thing i feel like saying now to someone though im super sure this person wont read this post.

It was my fault that our special friendship turned out bad. Maybe to you our special friendship MIGHT not be that special but it was special. Till today, it is special to me. To me you're exceptional. The things we shared is truly special. It may be common but .... Its different. Its impossible for me not to hear or see any news about you this days. You've been around me all this time and i never felt suffocation. The times you joke, the times you complain you were feeling sick. I dont know why till today, i felt like you're an exception. The things and so called wishes and hopes we made, i'll make sure i reach there and find you. People adore us. We adore each other. Its been atleast 18-15 months away since our love story started. I must admit, i do miss our old times. I must admit too that its me who took you for granted but it wasn't that bad after all.

You see right thru me, How do you do that tihs ?

I've moved on now. Yes, i did. With a guy, a guy that you knew. I'll treasure this guy for sure, i wont want to repeat what i did to you.

Love Haunting.

2011-02-20T17:51:00.001+08:00

You broke her heart. Do you know how many times she told herself that she needs to be stronger? She’s been putting smile on her face though tears keeps on falling. She keeps on telling herself that she’s fine though deep within, she knows she’s not. If you only knew how she wanted to be with you all this time. If you only knew how hard it is for her to get over your memories. If you only knew how many times she’d cried. If you only knew how she stalk your profile just to check if you found somebody new. It breaks her heart a little bit more each day. Do you know that she always listen to music that could hopefully heal her heart and to make her stronger? She pretends to be fine when she’s not. Do you have any idea how you made her feel all this pain and hurt? Each and every day of her life carrying these feelings makes her feel sad. If you only knew what she’d been through… I hope you know what you’re doing to her all this time.

@tumblr.

2011-02-20T16:21:00.002+08:00

I forgot how to smile, like seriously. I think my smiles nowadays are just piece of shit.

My heart cracked and now, i can feel its broken. What do i do now ?

I'm tired.

Help me, anyone.

Tapi bukan bayangmu yang ku dekapi.

2011-02-12T22:30:00.004+08:00

Its around 10:30pm now. Its been around 2 hours 20 minutes i waited for a text. And you wont reply until i text you.

I totally cant deny things are slightly different now. Maybe its me thats busy or maybe its you. I must say, i had hard time pretending im fine infront of you. I guess, i manage to not show i was truly upset about us. Its been 10 months now. Maybe you know i'm upset but you doesn't know how miserable im feeling inside. I tried to treat you like how i used to but ... the way you treated me ? I wouldn't say its a big change but the small small minor things ? You forgot. Im much more concern abt minor minor things that i expect you to do. I tried to understand you, i did but how long am i supposed to do that. I tried to keep myself busy and forget our problem, i sometimes wonder, are you aware of the problem we had now cause it seems we are just acting so fine.

And how could you believe that im gonna sleep at 1030 on a saturday night. Yes, im tired but ... my intention was just to seek your attention since you didn't reply my msg for hours. Nevermind. Truly tired now. Toodles.

2011-01-31T21:38:00.002+08:00

Is it just me or you changed ? One by one, things happened.

Very very very disappointing. Ive got nothing to say. Im just gonna go with the flow.

Things changing in just one blink ! heartbreaks.

2011-01-27T18:59:00.001+08:00

Its either you're busy or you changed.

Im afraid to face any fact thats negative.

Silence.

2011-01-27T18:11:00.002+08:00

I'm busy. He's double busy.

What am i supposed to do now ?

I don't wanna gain one and lose one.

PLEASE, NO.

2011-01-24T19:53:00.002+08:00

IM GLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD ! IM HAAAAAAAAAAAPPY !

IM LEADING A SUPER GOOD LIFE. I KNOW WHAT IM GONNA DO. I SAW MY FUTURE ! :D

IM HAPPY WITH EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE NOW. Aww, I LOVE.

Well, if there's one person i would want to have from my past will be that someone.

Like Amnesia.

2010-12-30T23:04:00.002+08:00

Oh yeah. My previous post was real evil, i know. But now, i'm feeling better. New year is like 24 more hours, i just wanna say to that person im referring to on my last post, just lead your life on your own, you dont need me at all. Yes, i used to come from your past, let me be your past. I'm gonna be good.

Everytime someone ask me, on 31st wanna go out or something, i'll be asking them, "what event will be held ?", they will say, "countdown lah!" and im like, " oh ya " . I forgotten all about countdown, im so busy thinking abt other stuffs that has been bothering me, i forgotten 2011 is just nearby. Since that night, i've been so bimbo. Everything i do seems wrong, so frustrating. I lost my way. I dont know what im supposed to do, with who. How pathetic.

Oh well, i need time. Alot of time to recover. Gotta do some paper work.

Whats my new resolution ?

You know what ? SP talking.

2010-12-29T21:10:00.004+08:00

My body and mind is full of hatred and revenge for someone. Oh, im so bad, only for one person who might destroy my future.

Hey Mr, if you think you're satisfied of what happened, i'll tell you, karma will hit you back. I'm sure you believe deeply in karma yeah ? Be happy kay because you screwed up your own life. Hell yeah, what a liar, you told me you've change ? OH YES, you did change for the worse i guess. You asked for my help to guide you in everything after you lost your way in this world , i must say too bad huh ? Now i must agree with you why girls doesn't wanna come around you no more, because you're just a J.

You know what ? If one day im gonna headbang or become crazy and got amnesia, i'm gonna blame you for putting me into serious trauma condition.

I feel like puking every single time i flashback over what happened. If there's only one person i would kill in this world is you for putting me in the most dangerous situation. You're satisfied now ? I tell you, you're suffer later okay ? Hah. You shouldn't have come back into my life yknow. You're wasting my time. Anyway, its true what you said, i regret knowing you, liking you, loving you. But i'll never regret for hating you.

My Biggest Regret. Trust me.

You'll stay the way you are if you don't change yourself.

2010-12-25T20:27:00.002+08:00

Dear Past, can you rewind ?

BANG.

2010-12-20T13:12:00.003+08:00

" Make Your Move, Before I'm Gone. Because People Change & Hearts Move On. "

Sometimes i really wonder, how long should i stay regret and hate my past. I told this friend of mine that i really wanna make a big change out of it cause it seems he's facing the same thing too.

I dont wanna stay alive and kept on saying to my friends i hate my past. Well, who doesn't. All i wanted now is to stay alive and run out there for my dreams.

Okay now, how should i say ? Am i supposed to stay happy or sad ?

Refer back to www.wakingup-reality.tumblr.com

2010-12-14T19:52:00.001+08:00

He comes from a family of artist. I'm surprised. I'm shocked. What am i supposed to do ? I'm lost.

2010-12-05T17:08:00.003+08:00

Yeah, its 5 December. 5 days had passed. On 3rd of December, i've got my new born niece ! The feeling was awesome, its been years since i hold on to a baby. Yeah, i'm happy to have her around. Life isn't that great. Its normal. Its so sour. I don't like. Get me someone to chat the whole day, i'll love the person.

Misses.

2010-11-30T20:23:00.003+08:00

Annyeong Haseyo.

Wanna know something ? I miss a number of people that used to/still making me smile.

If only i dare to insert some real names, i would have to.

I miss those in Usual Crew. MySlenger. Pangel. Yoseob Gay Partner/First fan. Spongebob. Ben 10.

I seriously hate when good things have to come to an end. Its bullshit. If there's only a moment where i want all this people to come together with me and let me tell them every single in and out confessions. But i don't think it will happen. If any of those names are reading this, i wanna say that, i love you to be around me, bad things always happen but at times, things just happen or maybe things are just meant to be that way. Saranghae. :D

Tomorrow is December, like what i wished at the other post, i'm not sure if im able to handle/achieve it. Gotta change things here and there. My missing people, can i turn back time and make it better this time ? Hais. I wanna destress, red radii oppa, please fly to singapore soon. I wanna get into the dance floor.

Yes, you.

2010-11-20T22:33:00.002+08:00

I'm not the girl that runs up to you when I see you. I'm not the girl who jumps at every moment when talking to you. And yet I'm the girl who loves you the most.

Gotta change.

2010-11-20T21:17:00.004+08:00

" Go ahead and say goodbye, I'll be alright. Go ahead and make me cry, I'll be alright.

Cause this is love and life and nothing we can both control and If it don't feel right, you're not losing me by letting me know. "

November is coming to an end. December is coming to a start. I don't wanna start my December feeling the same way i felt in November. I wanna to change how things work now. I don't wanna pretend i'm fine. I want to be fine. I don't wanna get bothered about dreams, cause I want those dreams to happen. I don't wanna keep falling and bringing up myself all alone. I need someone to hold me tight and bring me up together.

Just one thing, If at the end, you're not the one, I don't mind cause I know you used to own me and I used to own you. But i must say that, I hate you because you own something in you thats in me, which is my love that i've given to you. Well, i hope you'll lead a successful life. I'll keep this love till it fades away. From blooming, fading and dead. From i know, you don't know and still you don't know. Thank you so much for everything. I know you're gonna read this sooner or later. Yes, i'm talking about you, boy.

Killa.

2010-11-20T12:29:00.002+08:00

Otaaaaaaaaak saket.

Firstly, i wanna thank Spongebob for remixmixmixmix our song. You'll get your reward soon. :D

Secondly, i've got a problem down here. I don't know how to react to my current situation.

Thirdly, disturbing part where i've been having dreams of him and always him. When i woke up, it will always leave me with a big question mark or i can't remember the dream at all. That suck.

I'm nervous for them. Lets just do it and get it done.

Loves & Misses.

2010-11-18T22:08:00.002+08:00

" The reason of hating them because they have something in them thats in me, which is the love that i've given them. "

I realized I was pretending that I'm fine losing them, separating with them, when I'm actually not. I miss Pangel and Spongebob alot. I'm not lying.

Breathe

2010-11-13T22:19:00.003+08:00

BUSY BUSY BUSY BABY !

Real busy days coming right up. Current concentration is dance and somehow acting audition. Classes for this whole week and then i can concentrate on my current concentration.

Hopefully i got into the acting scene. :D Passion is near.

The Last Shot is gonna perform at Square 2 Novena on 26th Nov. Come down and support okaaaaay. :D

November busy. Dot. I hate it.

Gotta have fun still ! Spread the love.

Pangel. Dangel.

2010-11-07T22:29:00.003+08:00

7 Months of going through sweetness and bitterness. Tragic. Today, i realized i was wrong about something. Maybe i was right, only that, it was better. I didn't expect this to happen but it did.

This someone who tried so hard to be there for me. He's really nice. He showered love constantly.

There's also this someone who existed first before this guy i called P.angel. The guy that existed is also purely nice, but things do happened that made our friendship went haywire. P.angel, the one who tries hard. The one who is always patient with my attitude. I appreciate his presence in my life. He tried so hard to be good. The sweet one.

I thought the other guy was the one who could be the one who really sticks but I was wrong, P.angel is the one who really sticks throughout. Ending a bad friendship with him was good. But abandoning our feelings isn't good. Once in love with P.angel but we both were simply OS, over-sensitive about each other. Thats the bad thing about us. So we ended. Today, we reminisce our past. Totally touches my heart, i must say. I do missed the old times. But we can't go on this way.

This are the few songs that tells the storyline of our story.

Jangan Nakal (Alif)

- I once told him that if he sings me this song, I'll love it. This song became our main song in this friendship.

Angel (Shaggy)

- The sweet song that he tributes to me. Darling angel is what he called me, from this song because he said i'm like the meaning of the song. Till today, Dangel still sticks.

Key To My Heart (Jessica Jarrel)

- When i fell for him, this is the song that i tribute to him. It was sweet but painful.

6 Months (Hey Monday)

- A song that i tribute to him when im feeling that im clapping with one hand. I hopes he feels me.

Things get much more complicated after that, we quarreled, we misunderstood.

Mad (Neyo)

- Things went haywire, this song is for us. We cant find the reasons why are we like this.

Lonely September (Plain White T's)

- Sweets. We didn't mean to fall in love, but we did.
Just for us.

Missing You( The Saturdays)

- Tribute for him. Listen to it okay (:

There's certain part that is not true. So yeah.

After all this realization, i must say that, he's the one who has been there. I can see his efforts till today. He tried so hard to do something great to convince me. I appreciate it so much. Where are we heading next, Pangel ? We'll see. ^^

After Love.

2010-11-06T19:31:00.004+08:00

I don't wanna be good nor bad.

I don't wanna be fair or unfair.

I don't wanna be heaven or hell.

I don't wanna be evil.

I don't wanna be 'imprisonment'.

I don't want things to haunt me down.

I don't wanna cry all night long.

I don't wanna keep hanging around and act as if nothing happened.

I don't wanna stay this way.

I don't wanna be a victim.

Love, set me free.

I don't wanna hate you for what you've done.

I don't want this friendship to be ruined of an error we've done.

I don't want to abandoned this love I had for you, but i had to.

I thought that you could be the one who will always put a smile on my face, i was wrong.

I don't want things to relate to you any longer, but it does.

I wanna forget what we had gone thru together, but i can't.

I didn't expect you to do all this to me, but you did.

I expected just a separation, but it was more.

I expected the separation good, but it was bad.

You kept me hanging, i want to but that hurts the most.

Its true what your friend said, you're afraid you'll abandoned me, you did.

This is more than pretend, this is more than a game.

I don't wanna cling on you anymore.

I hope for your happiness with who ever you want.

You ever said, "I'll be happy if you're happy with whoever you're with/that can make you happy", everytime you said that, i'll typed out, "Ya, im happy being with you." but after that I'll erased it off cause Im afraid to tell that you're the one. You're the one im happy with. Time flies real fast. I closed my eyes, i saw us. The next moment, you fade away.

I can't hold on to you any longer.

You was once my pillar of hope. But my hope crashed. Maybe it was partly my fault too, for hoping on you so much.

Well, have a good life ahead. Wish for your happiness.

Much Love, Nemo.

2010-11-02T17:51:00.000+08:00

Im done here. I've made up my mind.

All about you.

2010-10-13T21:52:00.004+08:00

"Dear you,

Do you realize that this friendship is cracking ? And I don't wanna lose you."

- This post that i wanted to post a few weeks back, but i kept it as a draft. Now that i'm posting it. I wanna say that, I'm losing you.

^^

2010-10-13T21:34:00.002+08:00

Im watching Tetangga show ! ~

The girl in the drama became so cheeky seeing Erwin Shah.

Me: That girl so cheeky!

Mum: Look who's talking.

Me: *gave her the look*

Yawns.

Flashbacks;Tears.

2010-10-09T20:50:00.005+08:00

The only thing I hate logging in to facebook is to see pictures that I don't wish to see. It kills. Once it kills, i'll breakdown.

Things are different now, I can see the time of separation. I'm left with a few months and I'll lost them. I miss them. I miss my past. 2009 was the very bitter year but it left a big impact on me.

I miss them. A lot.

Say I Love You.

2010-09-26T18:27:00.005+08:00

Annyong Haseyo !

Jack Canfield's Seminar = Boring , Awesome , Inspiring . 8 freaking hours in the hall, sitting down there listened to Jack's voice. How nice ? The awesome thing is , it was inspiring, he's way to success. Cooly Jacky. Im heartbroken because I didn't get to shake his hand. Heh. ):

Reached school only at 8 because the bus was simply LATE. Camwhoring, doing crazy stuffs with my crazy girlfriends. Real crazy.

On that night itself, i ran away from Singapore to Malaysia to an open house, i came back 24 hours later. Heh. Reached my cousin's house at 3am. Over there, during the preparation for the open house, me and my cousins actually pill a huge chicken, i mean, REAL HUGE MAN. I have to pill it off into slices and it took me like, 20 mins to pill one huge chicken. Well, its still nicey.

After pilling of chickens, crazy hindustan freaks. My cousins are hindustan freaks, we watched Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai , almost crieddddddddddd. Sad or whaaaaat. Long time since i watched Hindustan Movies yeaaaaaaaah. )': I watched Bobo too :D

All i could say is , i watched love stories down at Malaysia. It suck big time, because love story in Singapore is cracking.

How i wish that my love story would be as wonderful like those hero and heroine in love story movies. Lol.

DREAM ONNNNNNNNNN.

2am which is Sunday morning, off back to Singapore, when i stepped in the car and sat down, the song i heard is " Sorry Sorry - Suju " , my morning was bright. Leeteuk chagiyya. Heh. Reached singapore around 3am. Off to bed at 4. :D

I don't know where we're heading , I hope this leads to somewhere wonderful.

Bobo , Nemo . - BOREDOM.

2010-09-04T17:47:00.003+08:00

Bobo , Nemo .

2010-09-04T17:47:00.002+08:00

Upsy Tursy;Running from truth.

2010-09-03T15:12:00.003+08:00

Glad that finally a broken friendship has renewed .

At times i just feel like breaking a friendship with some people . Thats bad i guess but yeah, atleast nothing will haunt me down - they are related .

Welcoming a new someone is fine for me - now . Lets just get everything upsy tursy and have a heartbreak , yeay .

Spongebob is so cute . I wanna buy a new spongebob . :D

Eyes is sucha killer , cure soon okay ?

me love really you did ?

2010-08-21T14:29:00.003+08:00

OH , BLOG SO DEAD .

Okay , here's my latest update . Life's been quite fine , quite calm , quite nice , quite bad also .

Current progress in life is good , Studies not bad , i guess . Love life , suck big time .

Love life is back as per normal but just a few conflicts , a few misunderstandings but for sure , ALOT of sacrifices and TOO MUCH drama/actings/pretendings.

You know when at one point of time where you're not sure whether you're in love or maybe you can say like , you're not sure if you are STILL in love with that someone . Its hard , at times you just have to feel that you're a victim and you're so stuck between a few people . Interfere here and there , love gone .

If there's a chance for me to turn back time ( this year's time ) , i would turned to - early this year . Its not that , i don't like the middle year , it was nice but it just suck when someone leaves you to go to another someone - his friend . Life still have to go on , right ? But just one thing i want him to know that he is still my adorable guy . I trust fate . Maybe he was never mine to begin with , or maybe he'll be back in the future .

I'll back off so you can live - Are you living when i left cause I don't .

Just smile and love current life . Thats all i can do now , but i'm still sincere with everything now .

Saranghakin hanguhni ?

Sickening .

2010-06-18T00:08:00.003+08:00

I have one wish . Just a small one but it will leave a very big impact on me . Hahhhh .

I wanna meet FS ! :D

I'll update asap . This is what happened to a girl that is sick like me .

I think , i'm missing my people . Okay , toodles now .

Gotta take some pills and go overdose .

NMA .

2010-06-12T21:45:00.002+08:00

BABY , IM BACK !

I dont wanna come back . I wanna stay there . Heh . ;D

Though i can't run away from getting hurt but i can run away from getting stress .

Holiday !

2010-06-06T02:18:00.001+08:00

Im missing my people so much . Its just been a day . Yawns .

I'll be back in a week's time until i accomplish my mission down here . :D

Takecare peepos ! :D

Xoxo , Mrs Lee .

LoveeeeeeeeBaby.

2010-05-31T22:59:00.005+08:00

I gotta confess a few things .
1) Firstly , i'll be damn busy for the next 2 weeks .
2) I dont know if i got time to go out with my friends .
3) When will all of my people and my friends come back to where they belong ?

Oh gosh , this whole week will be in school . UG camp , F&N extra class .
Gotta confess this , I really sincerely miss my people and my friends .
Am i supposed to list all of their names down ? Yes . I will .

My Twinneh , she's off to OBS now . YAWNS lah kau . Ex UCs, Natyqa , Rara , Lala , Zaza , Shud , KQ(yawns), Slenger , Spongebob , Kezko , Kims' .... My current or ex people . Whoever . From the east or west or south to north , left or side , front or back . I still miss those peopleS . So many names in my mind .

Just wanna wish to my dearest girlfriend ,
HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY Nur Rasidah Rashid !
Thank you for being there for me when im in need . I know you'll always be with me ups or downs . Finally , you're fifteen just like meh . :D
So many things happened to you , so many relation with me also .
But whatever it is , girlfriend . I love you .